In Wales we are electing members to the Senedd (Welsh Parliament) and it’s neck and neck between Plaid and Reform. Most of my adult life I’ve felt totally let down by election results so I’m very worried, hence the bunny bum.

I’m also feeling a bit lost about what to do, my instinct is always to try and fix things (wobbly drawers, clasps on jewellery, problematic men in my twenties) but at the same time what can any one person do? You try and have the chats one on one and live by your moral compass but - sorry to sound like the most boring man at a house party - you’re up against rather a large network of billionaire owned corporations and systems. It makes you want to give up. I find my head spiralling down in this direction frequently if I’m honest but the only thing that can jolt me out of it is starting small and trying to change wee things where I can. Long story short I messaged Deborah Frances White of the Guilty Feminist podcast, called in some favours from comedians, icons and musicians I know and now we’re doing a huge show in Cardiff this Sunday.

I’ve tapped up the skills of the true Queen of Wales, Carol Vorderman. What a woman she is and I can’t wait to hear what she has to say about Reform… We’ve got Priya Hall being hilarious and some other belting performances lined up. We put this show together with very little time and hundreds of folk are coming along which I think is a good sign? Come along this Sunday if you want a fascinating, uplifting night that I’m crossing my fingers will give us all a bit of hope because I think without it we have no chance.

Cardiff Tickets

Free stuff you say?

Speaking of hope, I’m delighted that the panel show I host for Radio 4, Best Medicine, will be back! Working on Best Medicine really is the best medicine, I end up meeting so many clever people who are changing the world and it absolutely fills my cup. The recordings are a blast too. If you haven’t listened to the show before the first few series are in most places you listen to podcasts, I’ll link here.

Much to my chagrin the live shows are all being recorded in London - I promise I asked for elsewhere - if you’re in the area and want to be in the audience of the record I have popped a link below to some free tickets. If you can’t make it, worry not the series will be out later this year.

Best Medicine Tickets

All Killa no Filla is coming to the Fringe for one night.

Against all my better judgement I’ll be popping up to the Edinburgh fringe for an All Killa no Filla show on August 25th. If you’ve been reading my nonsense for a while you’ll know I have as tense a relationship with the fringe as I do with the actual fringes I’ve cut into my own hair. Both negatively effect my appearance and bring out the worst in me and yet I persist.

We haven’t taken AKNF up for a few years and I’m really excited to be back and in THE best big venue, The Pleasance Grand. I’m hoping all the lovely memories I have from performing there and seeing great stuff in that room will make up for the long drive / one million pounds I will spend on the train up.

AKNF Tickets Here

Free tickets in Cardiff.

What Just Happened, the topical comedy panel show I’m a team captain on is back! As I said, it’s the run up to the Senedd elections which I’m sure, editorially, will be an absolute walk in the park… Every week there will be a different line up but I’ll be there with Robin on every show. Also, I lost the shirt I’m wearing in the press shot below and I’m forever gutted, I got it free at a Swap don’t Shop too so that feels extra painful.

If you’d like to be in the audience for the recordings they’re all taking part in Cardiff every Wednesday. If you want to be in one of those audiences and see what we weren’t allowed to include in the show then book a free ticket below. Yep free, you just have to laugh indiscriminately at my jokes which is actually a very high price to pay.

WJH Free Tickets

Machynlleth Comedy Festival.

If you haven’t been to this comedy festival it’s like Glastonbury for people who are obsessed with James Acaster. The beautiful mid-Wales town of Machynlleth becomes home to thousands of comedy nerds, the smallest fraction of which will be performing there. It’s a very nourishing weekend and I really missed it last year while I galavanted around Australia. I’m making up for it this time with, at present, nine shows over three days. It’s a real smorgasbord of stuff but the weirdest has got to be the show Tarot and I are doing, Mach for Good. Yep, we’re becoming Take That for one night only complete with live band. We’re inviting some of our favourite pals to sing their very own tribute to the Fab Five (then four, then three) and it’s going to be daft. We haven’t publicly announced the line up yet but as a teaser I will tell you we have a great line up including Spencer Jones, a super group of female comics and a cameo from comedy royalty.

Book a ticket here

Recommendations

Here’s a little list of things I’ve enjoyed recently. I’m not being paid for any of this but if anyone wants to throw me money to lie about products it’s really the only reason I did ten years on the comedy circuit, I just wanted a life of plugging dog treats and sex toys. For the absence of doubt “plugging dog treats” are not themselves a sex toy.

To stay -

By The Wye.

I’m writing this in the dreamy smog of having just returned from a wee holiday in Wales. You may or may not know that I’m very lucky to co-host a podcast called Pod of Wales. Esyllt Sears and I go on holiday all around Wales and make a podcast about it, it’s really great. Visit Wales help us decide where to go and we’ve visited, eaten and slept in some absolute corkers. There’s only one place I booked to stay in again before I’d even left and it’s where I’ve just come back from. It’s called By the Wye and Dawn and Steve who run it with their son Dan are the most charismatic, passionate and practical people I’ve ever met. They’re amazing hosts and there’s something very special about nodding off in a cosy tent with both a woodburner and river roaring away and then waking up to the sound of a woodpecker in the trees above.

I also booked for my Brother and his family and my niece had a phenomenal time running free in the woods and inspecting all the fairy houses when she wasn’t busy playing the wooden drum kit.

To eat -

Harry’s Nut Butter

You had me at Nut Butter but then you kept me at the jar of paprika peanut butter I waded through in about a week. I can’t remember where I first got this - I think it was the farm shop at the Hawarden Estate - but I take my peanut butter very seriously and this is now my favourite. I bought a kilo tub of it and another of the pumpkin seed flavoured one too, they are both exceptional. Did I also order one of every flavour of the truffles too? Who can say because ultimately there are no truffles left now so I guess we’ll never know.

To follow -

Ed Easton

You may or may not know I’m an offstage member of a sketch group called Tarot. This is made up of the kindest and funniest people I know, one of whom is Ed Easton. He’s been writing the Lion’s share of the sketches for years in Tarot and he’s such a brilliantly funny performer. Tarot is on a sort of live performance hiatus as we’re being swallowed up by a BIG PROJECT which probably won’t go anywhere... Anyway all this means Ed has had a his usual level of funny but nowhere to put it so he’s started doing more funny stuff on Instagram and it’s so brilliant. He’s just gone viral with a bonkers, existential song about his septic tank and if you like silly, dark, funny stuff then I’d recommend following him.

I think claiming people to be Welsh based on a tenuous link is a pastime the Welsh should be more broadly known for. We have a natural predisposition to it, like singing and the desire to talk about death. I’ve heard Welsh people claim famous folk for the most tenuous of reasons, a Mother is from Wales but you were born and raised in Melbourne? You’re Welsh, Kylie. Born in Wales but raised in England and repeatedly said you don’t identify as being Welsh? Unlucky Dawn French AND Christian Bale, you’re on the rugby team. If Fred West’s Mum had enough caravan holidays in Pembroke I swear we’d claim him too, anything for clout.

I think March feels especially Welsh to me because the Daffodils are showing up in all their camp* glory. I always smile when I see daffodils, in that respect they’re the dogs of flowers. Never seen one I haven’t grinned at.

I also think there’s something very Cymraeg (Welsh) about lambing season which we find ourselves in the thick of in March, it was a staple of my childhood. If Wales is going to take the slings and arrows of having an affinity with sheep and the sly stereotypes that are wedded to that, then they should also get to bask in the bucolic glory of being associated with frolicking, bucking lambs playing in a field. Now I’ve typed this I’m not sure this is a fair trade off for being heckled with “BAAAA” for the first five or so years of doing comedy when I’d mention I was Welsh.

Anyway, here are some words I’ve learned, that feel a bit March-like that you might like.

Mis Mawrth

Mis is pronounced like meece, to rhyme with peace, Mawrth is sort of the “mou” from mouth with what I like to call a “Welsh R” after it, ie you roll it a bit. This used to be tricky for me but persistence is key, it sort of ends up sounding like “errr”. You know the err you might exaggerate if someone picks up your coffee and drinks it. Or the first bit of “early”. When you crack it the the “r” in Mawrth is a nice bridge to the final “th” sound which is as in English.

Is it a cheat to include the Welsh name for “March” in the March edition of this? Nah, I’ll allow because I write this and I can.

I think this is a nice easy one to learn as a dysgwr (learner) as it looks enough like English to stick in your head. Mawrth can change a wee bit depending on the word you pair with it. Mis, the Welsh for month, gives you the month of March. Dydd Mawrth gives you Tuesday, Dydd meaning Day and pronounce Dee (like the river) with a “th” on th end to rhyme with breathe.

I love that Dydd Mawrth and Mis Mawrth are sort of linked because I think March does have such a Tuesday vibe, we’re getting going, we’re still knackered but it’s not a Monday so chin up.

Marwth on its own is the planet Mars too which I’m less on board with. For entirely unscientific reasons and pure vibes I feel like Mars is more of a May guy but I can’t really explain why but, the planet is cold when people assume it’s going to be warm so March does track with Mars in that respect.

Other than that I think it’s likely Latin influencing the Welsh but that’s as far as my explanation (knowledge) goes.

Cennin Pedr

Cennin is pronounced as it’s written with the first bit sounding like “Ken”,  the name that has been weirdly decommissioned. The “in” is just like the English . Pedr is again how it’s written - God Bless this phonetic language. Ped like “ped egg”, I always regret not getting one of those but I reckon periodically emptying it of the foot parmesan would send me under. The “r” on the end is another rolled r but I think in this instance if you were struggling you could quickly say “ear” and people would understand you which I think is the aim.

This is the Welsh for Daffodil! It mean’s Peter’s (Pedr) Leek (Cennin).  I can’t really find a clear reason why, there’s something to do with identifying soldiers in battle - the Welsh wore Leeks on their helmets to identity one another at a glance. In a futuristic head nod to food scarcity the Welsh were meant to have run out of their traditional leeks and ended up using the daffodils as a replacement as their leaves looks similar. I can’t find the origin of the name but I have found the origin of substitutes in online supermarket shopping.

Sometimes you will see the spelling or hear it said Cenhinen (Bedr) that’s the singular. You pronounce that Ken and the “hin” is as you’d expect, like “hinge”. The “en” is the like the start of “end”.

Sglyfach.

This looks scarier to say than it is. the first bit is said “s-glove” (their ain’t no party like an s-glove party). You’re going to just pop on an s sound on the front of the word glove and the last is the “a” for apple sound with the “ch” sound you find in Welsh or at the end of loch.

This is a very fun insult where I’m from and its severity depends on delivery and context. It sort of means a really disgusting person. So, if someone does that thing where they hold one nostril shut and fire their snot out the other side, they’re a sglyfach. The dog’s farted? Sglyfach. It can have a heavier meaning where you mean someone disgusts your very being. That’s the context I heard it in most recently on a documentary describing the abuse my headteacher committed on a documentary (a story for another day). I mention this because it shows you the breadth this word covers, from farting dogs to the very worst prededators. A word for all seasons but I’m giving you it now, in Spring.

Ton/Tonnau

This is as it reads with the “on” being like the English, so it should rhyme with Don. Tonnau is the plural using “au” which is pronounced “eye”. Au is used to pluralise loads of stuff in Welsh so a useful one to crack.

Ton means a wave and tonnau means waves. I think it’s especially evocative because of the hardness of the sound of the words and how it changes slightly with the pluralisation. Wave in English I think has a softness to it, you sort of ride up the “a” sound and drift down the “ve” at the end. Ton is dense sounding, like a big wall of water slapping the streets of Aberystwyth when the wind whips in. Tonnau feels softer again, like a collection of waves on a spring day just doing their thing.

I don’t know why I feel like this about the words and their sounds but I just do and it’s probably going to lead to someone diagnosing me to something so I look forward to that.

If there’s any Welsh words you want to share with me, please do!

*Don’t think Daffodils are camp? Please refer to one of my favourite Freddie Mercury quotes. When asked about his sexuality he said “I’m as gay as a daffodil, my dear”.

Back to the hair, let’s talk types. I don’t know what my hair is, I suspect wavy? The actual hairs themselves are very fine but there are LOTS of them. It’s flat at the roots and the volume is in the ends.
I also dye my hair darker and lighter (On the same head? A visionary) and have done since I was sixteen so you better believe parts of my hair are damaged enough for me to endeavour to have a romantic relationship with them in my twenties.

If I spend time on a beach on a horse (not sure why it needs those two as a combo) my hair turns into ringlets. I don’t have the kind of lifestyle where I can pop on a pony and head to the dunes when I want to look naturally tousled for a wedding so I thought I’d list the things that have helped my hair, on the cheap, for the days when I want to not blow dry it into some approximation of straight.

Seanik - Shampoo Bar - Lush - £10

I love a shampoo bar. As someone who’s perpetually worried about every piece of plastic they use and which turtle’s mouth it will block up I’ve long been partial to a bar. They travel really well in those wee tins and take up less space than even a small bottle of shampoo which is great for someone like me who often lives out a suitcase.

There’s no sulphates and parabens, I do not know what this means but confidentially say it. I did the same with the word “furlough” for about 7 weeks and I got away with that.

I especially like it when I swap out something that isn’t good for the planet for something that is kinder and it’s still effective, when it’s better I’m over the moon. Shampoo bars are that for me, I’d never go back. Conditioner on the other hand….

So, I was using Lush’s Montalbano or as I professionally call it “the one with the lemon”, it has a piece of lemon on the top. It’s main job was to make my hair shiny and it did. When I stopped using heat on my hair I knew I needed to think about the products I was using so I went in and chatted to a guy in Lush Liverpool. Just try NOT talking to the staff in there, they buzz off being helpful and in turn I loved to be helped. I told him I wanted to wear my hair wavy, I wanted a shampoo that supported that but I still wanted shine, enter stage left, Seanik. He explained the salt would help with curls and volume and there was loads of seaweed and delicious stuff in there to make it hydrating. It sounded like a day on a horse on a beach in a bar, perfect. He explained he used it on his curly hair and lowered his head an told me I should touch it, I politely declined. I later heard him spinning out that he’d been weird and asked a woman he didn’t know to touch his hair. If you’re reading this, don’t worry, you’re not on a bad guy list and if you were that will have no effect your social or economic standing in any way, you might even end up President.

Anyway, the bar really delivers and I so appreciate the shine and volume that I still use it on days I’m not planning on wearing my hair wavy.

The Bouncer - Universal Diffuser - Drybar - £5, Vinted

A slight cheat here as this is about £30 new but there’s loads on Vinted still in their boxes.

I’m new to the life of diffusing and good lord is it boring. I was also finding out the hard way that when you stay at a hotel a diffuser is as rare as semen free curtains (also in a hotel) but you can’t always work around their being no diffuser like you can with the curtains*.

So, I decided to buy a diffuser that was likely to fit on most hotel hairdryers. The Bouncer by drybar was being pushed hard. I hate the name of it because it sounds likes it’s going to say I can’t have wavy hair if I’m wearing trainers or I’m too drunk and those are my favourite pre requisites to drying my hair.

I’m so addicted to getting second hand bargains that when I see something I want - new to the world - I always sniff around eBay and vinted first. Nine times out of ten it’s there and far cheaper than buying it new. I don’t keep boxes so I couldn’t give a shit that the corners are damaged and I’d much rather send a real person £6 than give a chain shop £29.99.

So this is a slight cheat in that brand new this diffuser is around the £30 mark but I recommended it to a pal who paid £7 for hers on vinted and I had a gander now and there’s one on Vinted for £8 in the box.

So far it fits all the hairdryers** I’ve tried it on and it’s much easier to throw in a bag than a whole hairdryer set up.

My hair is noticeably bouncier with more curls when I use it and with a bit of volume spray in the roots it gives it the nice round shape I’m after. If left to it’s own devices my roots are flatter than the earth is claimed to be and it’s a very unflattering vibe. A bit of diffusing in the roots gives it nice movement and a shape I can play with/arrange depending on how I’m feeling about fringes or my blonde streak that day.

*Put a shoe on each hand and using hand-feet to open and close the curtains.

** Not a Dyson but if you can afford one of them, or a hotel that has one then you’re probably not getting your diffusers on vinted, or aware of who I am.

Enhance and Perfect Curl Cream - The Curl Company - £8.99, Boots (probably cheaper on Amazon but if you’re shopping there give your head a fucking wobble).

A wise friend with actual curls said this was the dog’s bollocks and I’m struggling to disagree. I throw it on my hair when it’s a wet but not soaking and it locks in the moisture but doesn’t weigh the hair down. I still have to pop something on my roots because they are weak little bitches who collapse like a Jane Austen character if given a chance but this cream is really great at giving hold and moisture but never crunch. Crisps, carrots and fizzy drinks, happy with a lot of crunch, I don’t want it on my hair. It smells nice too, which I didn’t think I was bothered about but I have a refresh spray that smells like men from the 90s and I try my best to avoid using it as a result. It’s effective but I just keep thinking my hair will ask me if Triple H is my favourite wrestler or start reading Nuts magazine when I use it.

I picked up a smaller, similar product from the same company as this at Church Home Bargains yesterday for a couple of quid so will report back soon.

Mix and Fix bundling curly hair spray - Wow Colour - £15 travel size

Maybe this is also a cheat cos it’s the travel size and I bought the big one from Sally’s at the end of last year but I do believe in trying smaller versions of stuff while you work out what agrees with your hair type. It’s cheaper and if you’re like me I’ll use stuff I think is rubbish out of spite and the desperation to recycle.

How you like the texture of your hair is deeply personal but for my hair on my head I don’t like the hard, crispy look so I haven’t had much luck with mousses and gels. Creams are a generally too heavy, oils make my hair greasy, both work beautifully on my partner’s ringlets though, in particular Welsh brand Olew.

This spray goes on straight out the shower on to your wet hair and then I whack it up in a microfibre towel and just leave it till I’ve done my body and face moisturising. Then diffuse etc.

It gives me shiny waves and curls that hold all the day. I don’t know how it works but it just does for me. I also think you can’t use too much of it which can be the balancing act with waves and curls. The perfect amount creates stunning hair, a spritz or pump too far a you look wet and limp for most the day, like a salad that hasn’t travelled well. I’ve yet to hit tipping point with this spray.

I hope this was useful although I’m aware that hair is so deeply unique and personal. Maybe you’ll find something useful in here or maybe you’ll take this for its primary intention and tell me my hair looks good.

Everyone I speak to is reminding me that we’ve had 50+ days of continuous rain in Britain. What a way to find out it’s not normal for it to rain everyday in Britain. Like when someone famous dies and you’d bet money they were already dead anyway. I’m looking at you Cher’s Mum.

Having said that, I am bored to the tits of grey days, muddy boots and the rise of fascism. I’m very ready for spring and I think it’s sneaking in. My creased and chapped face has had some sun on it in the last fortnight and my rescue chickens are pumping out so many eggs we’ve run out of people to give them to. It’s rare to come to our house and not have a box of eggs forced into your hands but we’re running out of visitors. I’ve got my fingers crossed for some Jehovah’s Witnesses so I can free up some work surface space.

I love Spring and it’s cold sunny days and flowery outbursts. It’s a good reminder “This too shall pass” and the “this” is Welsh Winters. It’s a good time to be thinking about changes and fresh starts because, despite my protestations, I am writing new jokes and I am approaching the feeling of missing doing stand up. I’ve got some WIP shows at the Glasgow Comedy Festival later this month and I’m now actually looking forward to them. If you want to come and see if I was right to look forward to them; Saturday is sold out but there’s still tickets left for Friday the 20th of March if you fancy it. Hilariously I just checked the website and there’s a bit where you can list any content an audience might need to know about and give them a heads up. I only have “swearing” in mine because when I submitted this I didn’t - and still don’t - have even a vague idea about what the show will be but I do know it will have swearing in it.

If this works and I’ve pressed the right buttons you’ll be getting this from my new Substack. I’ve soft launched with a nice wee article about Welsh words but who knows, I might get hammered and end up publishing a list of predators in comedy for the clicks.

At the moment everything on my Substack is free but I am going to build a paid bit, I’m just getting my ducks in a row. If you’ve followed me or what I do for any length of time you’ll know I don’t usually paywall stuff but I wanted to lay out what I’m doing and why there will be a paid subscription element. Firstly, if anyone wanted a paid subscription but their circumstances mean they can’t pay, all good, we’re setting it up so you can just email and we’ll give you a free one.

In the paid bit I’m going to be sinking a lot more time and resources into, including longer video content which at the moment looks like it will need a specific producer/editor. As my industry is in free fall paid subscriptions would help cover that cost cos it’s not my vibe to ask folk to work for free, it also would hopefully mean that it secures the future of what I’m doing at the frequency I want to do it because sadly I’m at a point that comedy can’t do that anymore. I’ve been chilled by the amount of chats I’ve had with other (female) comedians about quitting a retraining in something else. Award winning, critically acclaimed, tv named comics looking at starting over because the industry as it is has eroded their choices. Anyway, that’s another article for another day, perhaps? A big reason for having a paid subscription bit is a friend saying to me “It’s ok to expect to be paid for the work that you do”. A reminder I need at least monthly. I’m sure other people with jobs in the arts, deemed non essential and “fun” struggle with how to value themselves or their work, throw in a complicated relationship with money that defines most my earliest memories and you’ve got an absolute headfuck. The fact I’ve written all this when “I’ve got a paid subscription starting, how cool is that” would have done sort of tells you everything. Well, everything but the fact the paid subscription will have far more about my personal life and home on it by nature of what it covers and there’s a not small part of me that wants to hide that a little from weirdos and enemies.

Here is a little list of things I like at the moment.

Here’s a little corner I have to talk about things I like or am excited about.

Normally this corner is me recommending things from people I don’t know, and has nothing to do with me, but full disclosure I sort of have skin in the game with all these recommendations.

To Read - The Coastal Almanac.

I’ve preordered two copies of this because I want to keep one and give another as a gift. Also, as the author is my pal, Jess Lea Wilson, I know how preorders are really helpful to authors so on to the pre order link we all must march.

I’ve never seen Jess be involved with anything that isn’t thoughtful, fair and brimming with good taste. She’s worked so hard on this book, her third, and I can’t wait to read it cover to cover. I have some shelves in my library (a room with a bookcase in) just for books my friends have written and it gives me so much joy to see what a talented bunch of people I have in my life. I can’t wait to hold Jess’s Coastal Almanac in my hands and to finally understand what an almanac actually is.

Preorder Here

To Eat -

This is exciting, I have a discount code for you! Maggie who runs Maggie’s African twist is a real Superwoman. Not only does she have a super talented son, who’s an amazing bilingual rapper - check out Sage Todz - she’s also a really cool chef who makes banging sauces and seasoning, always champions global majority producers and makers and has written some really great cookbooks.

She knows my partner is obsessed with her hot sauce so she sent me a discount code for it and said I can share it with you guys. How does she know he’s obsessed? Well, last year I bought him a litre bottle of it from her after seeing her at a produce fair and he finished the bottle in three days. Wild behaviour from a man I have to share a toilet with. I asked him for this what his top 3 bits are and it’s: The original chilli sauce, Naija This and That spice and Maggie’s Hot and Sweet African sauce.

Anyway, I’ve just bought a load from her, it’s also great as gifts and everything is packaged in glass and tin so recyclable. The code is KMAT10 if you’d like to treat yourself and support a fantastic Welsh business. For the record I’m not getting paid for this, just sharing the love (but I have already used the code. Twice.).

Maggie's African Twist

To Listen to - The Anglesey Vampire Killer, BBC Sounds.

Now, weirdly it’s rare that I listen to true crime, it’s a bit of a busman’s holiday for me and I think there’a lot of very unhelpful, bigoted stuff out there with a real lack of morals. However, Meic, who made the incredible Crossbow killer for the BBC, is not that kind of cowboy. He’s local, diligent and really sensitive. I pop up in this series but I’m amazed they use our chat where I basically grilled him on whether or not the podcast was the right thing to even do. Meic’s work is always authentically North Walian and done with loads of integrity. I’ve really enjoyed - not the right word - the first two eps and I hope you do too.

Have a listen here

I love collecting new Welsh words, it reminds me of my days of playing Zelda on the SNES. You get to that sweet spot in the game where you open up your armoury and you have so many potions and weapons to use and as a result the game is far easier even though the challenges keep coming. I feel like I’m at that stage with my Welsh and collecting words is one of the things that keeps me invigorated. So, I’m going to share a few words I’ve collected this month or I wish to share.

Crempog

(As it sounds. “Crem” like the start of of cremation and “pog” like the things you used to collect in school if you’re a geriatric millennial).

This is the Welsh word for pancake and a clear example of a word that’s better in Welsh than English. Crempog sounds like food found in a Roald Dahl book and you just knows it’s going to be delicious. Pancakes are nice but I reckon I could have three, max. You’re serving crempog? Then I will have six to start and we’ll go from there.

Also bonus fact from my friend Esyllt, Crempog is one of those words that was Welsh first before it became English (Penguin is the most famous of these). Apparently, crumpet derives from it, I knew there was a reason crumpet was such a good word.

Calon

(As it looks, “cal” like calendar and “on” like the word on)

It means heart, you’ll sometimes hear “galon” because certain letters mutate in Welsh depending on what comes before them.

As February is a romantic time of year in England I thought I’d throw this in. I think it has a lovely look to it as a word. Some of my favourite calon related words are:

Digalon.

Di (pronounced like the River Dee) in front of a word in Welsh is a bit like “un” or “in” is used in English in that it sort of flips the meaning so digalon is to be disheartened.

Calon-galed.

Galed means hard so it means to be hard of heart, it’s a metaphor for being unfeeling, it’s nothing to do with artery disease.

Maethu

“Mae” said like like the month, “May” and thu is pronounced like “thee” but to rhyme with flea.

This word I use a lot because it means to “Foster” so in my Welsh lessons when I explain what I do for the local council and why I’m there I use the term “Maethu”. It did pop up in another area of my life too, quite by surprise and made me fall madly in love with the word.

“Para Maethu”, pronouncing the para as you would in English, is the Welsh for permaculture, something I’m endeavouring to start with my brother on my small farm. More on that later/a whole other section.

Para in Welsh means to last or prolong and Maethu in this context means to nourish something. How beautiful is that? The principals of permacultures speak to protecting, investing and rebuilding land, wildlife and communities and Para Maethu is such a romantic phrasing for that. To continue to nourish.

Also, using Maethu to mean nourish is exactly how I see my role as a foster carer, you’re there to protect, rebuild and invest so this young person can flourish and grow, it’s perfect.

Eirlys

“Eir” sort of ay - like “ay up”- “er”, as in “er, isn’t there an accepted way of doing this that doesn’t involve your mad phonetics, Kiri”. And lys, like like list without the t.

It’s Welsh for snowdrop, this little flower is such a trouper for showing up with grace and enthusiasm in the snow and in the case of my farm, chicken shits. Eirlys is a lovely girl’s name too. It comes from the Welsh for snow “Eira” combined with a very old Welsh word for flower, “lys”.

If you have any Welsh words you want me to know about please put them in the comments below because I love to collect them.